Supporting change for children through the use of language
The language we use with each other as a professional network and with families can create a strengths based culture to support change for children. When working with neglect it’s crucial that we describe our worries in a way that makes sense for parents. Brandon et al (2020) highlight the reluctance for some practitioners, to effectively name neglect often for fear of creating a barrier to engagement or stigmatising
a family.
Helping families see the picture….
When working with neglect, families are mostly unable to see the picture of what life is like for them and their children because, for example, things have become so overwhelming or other things in life have become the priority. Their ability to ‘mentalise’ the needs of their children is placed under pressure. In other words they’re not thinking, seeing or responding to the needs of their children. Alongside this their ability to ‘reflect’ and do things differently is also under pressure. The language we use can therefore help paint a picture and help improve the mentalisation and reflective functioning skills of parents.So what does this mean
in reality……..
Be jargon free
We all have our agency or professional jargon and phrases that we use. Sometimes we can feel that using long words or technical terms makes us appear confident and that we know what we are talking about. However in reality it can water down or even obsure risks for children and families may not understand what the worries are and what change is expected.
So, avoid using jargon or vague standard statements both in our conversations with each other and with children and families as well as in our written records. Where you have to use professional jargon support this with an explanation using simple words.
Be descriptive
It follows that if we need to avoid jargon then we need to be descriptive and base these on our observations. For example phrases such as ‘inappropriate home conditions,’ ‘cluttered house,’ ‘child presented as dirty and unkempt’ leave things open to interpretation. The word ‘neglect’ itself is not very restorative and when parents/ carers hear this it often doesn’t resonate with them and creates a barrier to engaging.
When you hear the phrase ‘inappropriate home conditions’ what picture does that paint for you and the level of need for the family?
If it was used to depict the following how differently would you feel?………..’When I went into the home it was difficult to enter as the hallway was full from floor to shoulder level with boxes, shopping bags and household items such as towels, an iron etc. The living room was similar with no floor covering or carpet throughout the house. It was very dark all over the house as the windows were covered with black bin bags. The house smelled of urine, faeces and engrained dirt. The walls were heavily marked with dirt and food stains. The kitchen surfaces were covered with out of date food tins, cooking utensils and mouldy food with no clear space to prepare or cook food. There were ants crawling around. The children’s bedrooms were empty with a lone mattress in the corner covered with a fitted sheet. The mattreses were stained with urine and faeces. The only bathroom in the house was full with laundry/household items e.g. clothes airer, hairdryer, children’s bike. You could reach and use the toilet but the bath and overhead shower were not useable…..’
Let’s also take a look at the phrase ‘dirty and unkempt’ with the reality for the child being…….’they had matted hair with nits and engrained dirt marks in ther skin. Their shoes were two sizes too small for them. Their clothes smelled of body odour and urine and were covered in stains……….’
With both these examples we need to be thinking what this feels like and means for the child. So, be descriptive with families and other professionals to create a shared sense of concerns. Being descriptive with families and explaining what the worry is as you’ve observed it and it’s impact for a child is being restorative and compassionate.