I’ve Seen Worse!
When we are so used to supporting families with high levels of neglect, we can become professionally desensitised to concerns. The normalisation of neglect is most often experienced by professionals working with families in areas of high social and economic deprivation. (DfE Learning for the Future 2020).
We may have known the family for a significant time, have built positive working relationships with them and really want them to do well.
We might even find ourselves thinking or saying ‘I’ve seen worse’ when comparing children’s circumstances.
All of this can blind us to the serious impact of neglect and risks for children.
A few things we can do to help guard against professional desensitisation…
Pause
Pause and stop to ask yourself ‘Have I really understood the daily life of the children in this family?’ This is particularly important if you find yourself thinking or saying ‘I’ve seen worse’ so kick start your own ‘internal supervisor’ and reflect on the experiences of the children.
Discuss
Take your own practice reflections into discussions with others. This could be with your colleagues, manager, safeguarding supervisor etc. Ask them, ‘Can you help me think something through….. I may have lost sight of what’s really happening in this family, the risk for the children and what support the family need?’
Sometimes we’re not able to make use of our ‘internal supervisor’ for a number of reasons e.g. because we are so caught up in the dynamics of supporting a family we don’t see the need to reflect on what’s happening. In these moments we won’t seek a discussion with others and will need our colleagues and supervisors to help us reflect. So, if you hear a colleague or someone you manage say ‘I’ve seen worse,’ or similar phrases such as ‘This is the norm for our service,’ then don’t be a bystander and open up a discussion. You could start by saying, ‘That’s interesting you say that….it can sometimes be a sign that we need to look again at what’s happening for the children. Tell me about the children’s development, your observations of them and where they live?’
Be Prepared to Think Differently
Finally, after your self reflection and discussion with others, be prepared to think differently. Overtime, the not OK may have become OK for you. In other words the abnormal has become normal with this being a repeated theme in national reviews of serious cases. For example Brandon et al (2020) described in their analysis how, ‘The response of many agencies too often suggests that there were limited expectations of the young people, their families and what life was likely to hold for them. The reactions of agencies suggest a high tolerance towards damaging and worrying experiences, parenting and life chances that in other settings in the community would simply be unacceptable.’
So, children need us to be open to thinking differently so we can truly understand the severity of the situation they are living in.